Let me start with a disclaimer. For the most part, I like the police. I think it's a noble and oftentimes thankless job, and I admire them for doing it. I cringe when people call officers "pigs" (except when they call the UW campus police "Bacon Bits", because that's just funny). That all being said, some police officers are the most power-tripping, arrogant jackasses ever.On Mother's Day, me and The Mother were running some errands (yes, I am a good daughter) and we stopped by our favourite fruit-store on Yonge Street. There wasn't a parking spot so I waited in the car, with the keys in the ignition, while my mom ran in for a couple minutes. I was chilling in the car when suddenly I saw a cop standing outside, writing down my license plate. I ran out and explained that I was just stopped for a couple minutes, that I wasn't parked. Plus right ahead of us were the parking lanes, so it's not like we were blocking traffic. He said that since the ignition wasn't on it counted as parking and he was going to give us a ticket. I started apologizing profusely, said that I was mistaken as to what "stopped" entailed, and that I wouldn't do it again, and that it would ruin my mom's day if we got a $30 ticket but he was still such a jackass. So now I'm going to fight it.
I'm booking a court date and will show this ticket (and Officer C. Jones) that no one tries to separate Leora from her money. I'm going to pump myself up by watching courtroom dramas like A Few Good Men and To Kill a Mockingbird and maybe even the classic Jury Duty with Pauly Shore. And no, I'm not doing it for the $30. I just think it would be trippy! I've never gone to court and it's always been a lifelong dream to get arrested. Chances are that C. Jones won't even show up (he seems like a wimp, he was wearing a bullet-proof vest) and that the case will be dismissed. Oh, but if he does show up, how awesome would this be? I'll be a lawyer! Can I wear a powdered wig or are those out now?
6 comments:
This post is so funny.
You should go to court all dressed up. Complete with briefcase and such.
ohh ohh. And make sure you have a second chair person with you as well. Dressed identically. It will be the funniest thing in the world.
No one seperates Leora from her money! (No one puts Baby in a corner!)
I hear powdered wigs are out, but those black academic-style lawyer robes are hot!hot!hot!
Also, you should make sure to shout out "Objection!" and bang your fist loudly on the table at every possible opportunity. And you should request to interrogate a witness.
Well of course I would dress up! But not as a lawyer. No, that would be boring (no offence Abba). I'll have on a powdered wig and maybe a long black (or red) robe. It'll be awesome. You can be my co-counsel. You're thinking of writing the LSAT this summer....that makes you qualified to defend me in a court of law, right?
And how awesome is it that you're now using Dirty Dancing references? That's a sign that you've been hanging out with me for too long.
Lyds, thanks for your suggestions. I've already been practicing my "I want the truth" "You can't handle the truth!" lines. And will you be a character witness for me? I may have to subpoena you for it...
I hope you don't loose the money. So you'll have something when you decide to pay me back :p
To prep, make sure you watch lots of Jerry Springer and Maury Povich... not for the talkshows, but for the commercials in between. You know, those ones with all the lawyers yelling at the screen and pointing at you, telling you that they'll win your case for you. I know that they pump me up in the morning!! ;-)
The Wandering Jew
Has readers so blue
She now lives with her Mom
And says nothing that's new
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