I was watching The Sound of Music on youtube the other day and, being the nerd that I am, started simultaneously wikipedia-ing to find out all I could about the movie, the actors and the real story on which the movie was based. As most of us know, there really was a von Trapp family who escaped the Nazis at the start of the war by singing ridiculously catchy songs. But one thing that you may not have known is that Maria, the beloved governess who brought laughter, love and song into the house, was a slut. Yup, she was a big, skanky ho-bag. Apparently, Maria and the Captain had their first child born only two months after their wedding. So instead of the sweet and innocent love affair that was depicted in the movie, one has to wonder if they got married because there was a strudel in the oven. How scandalous!
I wish that had been included in the movie. I can see it now…clandestine encounters in the gazebo set to the Rodgers and Hammerstein porno score…Maria wishing that she used condoms that weren’t made from the leftover curtain material…escaping to the Abbey because she thought that her nun’s habit would hide her burgeoning belly…and so on. I don’t know if Julie Andrews would have been able to pull that role off though. The producers might have had to wait another 40 years for Angelina Jolie.
No comments:
Post a Comment