"Want to see La Traviata? Or Basic Instinct 2?"

Ever since Cineplex started broadcasting the Met operas in movie theatres, I've been debating with my family about the merits of seeing live performances...well, live. They say that at $25 a ticket, the Met movies are more accessible, that you can actually see the singers' facial expressions, and that the sound quality is excellent. I say that anyone who thinks that watching opera in a movie theatre is just as good as watching it live is an idiot.

But lately, I've realized that my argument, while undoubtedly true, may not be entirely convincing. So I thought up four other foolproof reasons why opera and ballet are best seen live.

1. Even if the sound quality is amazing , the crunching of popcorn and slurping of diet coke in the background do not go with Wagner.

2. Half of the fun of the opera is being a snob, and can you really do that when you're in the same movie complex as the theatre that's showing the Harold and Kumar sequel?

3. There's no need to dress up. And nearly everything that can be done wearing jeans and an old t-shirt isn't worth doing at all.

And finally, 4:

A picture says a thousand words. And this one says "How am I supposed to lust after the hero in Swan Lake when he's so pretty that he makes the heroine look like an ugly duckling?" Dude, put down the blue eye shadow. And the lipstick.