Taking the piss out of epistemology

I have terrible taste of music. Really. When I use my iPod on the subway, I try to hide the display screen just so strangers won't see that I'm listening to Flock of Seagulls or Tom Jones. And I've always been like this. The first tape that I ever got was Salt n' Pepa, and my best friend Alona and I would dance around my kitchen, singing "Let's Talk About Sex", much to the horror of my mother.

Anyways, I was listening to Ace of Base today, and started to think about the ontological meaning behind their lyrics. Particularly "All That She Wants". To remind you, the chorus is "All that she wants is another baby". Now I when I first heard the song, when I was 11, my analytical reasoning skills were not yet fully developed, so I just took the words literally and assumed that she wanted to get pregnant. But after many years and a tens-of-thousands-of-dollars university education later, I think it's time to take a closer look.

The way that I see it, there are two possible interpretations. "Baby" either refers to an infant or to a romantic partner. If it's the latter, then that would imply that she's some type of emotionally restless player (or if you prefer, slut) who moves from one relationship to another. If it's the former, then she is dying to get pregnant, too poor to go to the hospital for artificial insemination, and is in pursuit of a potential sperm donor. Either way, the tune sure is catchy.

So I conducted an exegesis of the text, and here are my findings:

She leads a lonely life
Yes, she's lonely, and she's looking for something to fill in that empty void. But what is it? A man? A baby? A new pair of vegan shoes? Oh, maybe that's just me.

When she woke up late in the morning
Light and the day had just begun
She opened up her eyes and thought
O what a morning
It's not a day for work
It's a day for catching tan
Just laying on the beach and having fun
Strike one against it being the reproduction hypothesis. If she wanted to get pregnant, then she wouldn't think it's a "day for catching tan". Perhaps baby means skin cancer? Will have to explore that option in more depth later.

She's going to get you
This one is tricky. I don't get the predatory imagery if they're just referring to a one night stand. Why is that something that men would fear? I think she just wants to get knocked up. Now that's something that would scare most guys. No one would want their kid brought up by such a woman. She'd probably be a frequent guest on the Scandinavian equivalent of the Jerry Springer Show (I believe it's called the Jurgen Sorenson Show).

All that she wants is another baby
She's gone tomorrow boy
All that she wants is another baby
The chorus. Source of all my confusion.

So if you are in sight and the day is right
She's a hunter you're the fox
The gentle voice that talks to you
Won't talk forever
It's a night for passion
But the morning means goodbye
Because she obviously got what she came for.

Beware of what is flashing in her eyes
Progesterone?

She's going to get you
And your sperm, too!

Though I still don't understand what the song is about, one thing has become clear: this post was only funny to me. Perhaps next week I'll take a closer look at the meaning behind Ace of Base's other songs. It's entirely possible that this song fits in with the rest of the album to create a narrative. Such as, does their "The Sign" refer to the little plus sign that you see on a home pregnancy test? We'll find out soon enough!