Reading week is upon us, and I am so loving this break. Since I'm the only child in town right now, I'm actually getting spoiled by my mom! This is a picture of the Shabbat meal that Eema made, with all of my favourites: bok choy, wine, and of course, eggplant. Yumminess to the power of yum.But this trip isn't only good because of the eggplant. We drove into the States to visit The Fred and do a little shopping, and when we were driving back, we got pulled over by Customs. Luckily they only performed the full-cavity search on my mother (I may have hinted to them that she was carrying cocaine in her anus...) But I got a lovely sundress, so it's all good. I've also been visiting with friends, like the amazing Alona. Excuse the craptastic picture, because Alona usually looks far better in real life, while I usually look far worse.
And, most exciting of all, I am going to Seattle soon, to look at the rain. Oh, and of course to be with David. (For a funny, albeit inappropriate transcript of a conversation that I had with my mom, check out the comments section). I'm also really excited to see Samantha, my wonderful former Hebrew University roommate.
Plus, my friend David suggested that I visit Skookum Falls, which I may do just because it has a super cool name. By the way, this is my friend David, not to be confused with my boyfriend David or my father David. (Cue song "These Are The Daves I Know") It's actually a bit too confusing, so I think that I need to get rid of one. Well, I've been buddies with friend-David since second year university, and father-David allegedly was involved in my conception...so that leaves...oops! Anyway, I'll be posting pictures and snarky commentary on my trip, so stay tuned. I hope that everyone else is enjoying their break also.
11 comments:
This is a verbatim conversation that I had with my mom a few weeks ago. We were sitting, having dinner on Sunday before I caught the Greyhound back to Waterloo, and she puts down her fork, turns to me, and asks:
Her "Ling, when you go to Seattle, where will you be staying?"
Me "Huh?"
Her "During Reading Week, when you go to visit David in Seattle, where will you be sleeping?"
Me "Uhh, in a hotel"
Her "You're staying in a hotel?"
Me "Yeah, you know, Bill Gates has this thing where he lets the girlfriends of Microsoft employees stay cheaply when they come to Redmond to visit."
her "Really?"
Me "Yeah."
Her "Really?
Me "Yeah."
Her "Wow, that's so amazing. I've always admired Bill Gates, he's such a philanthropist, and this is just....."
Me "Wait, wait, Eema, I was kidding."
Her "What?"
Me "I completely made that up! YOu knew that, right?"
Her "Oh. So where are you staying then?"
Me "With my old roommate Samantha, who is living in Seattle now"
Her "Seriously?"
Me "NO!! Where do you think I'm staying?!"
Her "Well I don't know, I was just asking. Honey, are you being safe? Are you using protection?"
Me "Ohmygosh, we're not having this conversation"
Her "No, seriously, I think we should talk about it."
Me "We are NOT talking about it. I'm done dinner, I think I'm going to pack now. Bye"
Hahaha, I love my completely awkward mommy.
I'm confused. Which David am I again?
See, first I read that as Snookum falls. I actually googled it 3 times before I noticed Google telling me it was Skookum falls.
I guess I have a certain someone on the brain. :)
You're pookie-David!!
(For those of you who don't know, David and I have started to call each other the most hideous cutesy-wutesy nicknames ever, like "snookums" and "pookie". No, don't worry, we're still as cynical as ever, we just do it to be funny and ironic. Can you believe that there are actually people out there who find that romantic? Gag me with a pitchfork! The other pet-names that I have for David include "bastard" and "punk".)
I think most people do it to make fun of others who do. It's an endless cycle of pookies and snookums.
I've written a program to generate cutesy names too :) I know, I'm a nerd.....
but it takes list A and list B and merges them into a name.
So things in list A are like Cuddle, love,sweet and things like that
and list B has monkey, bunny, bear...etc.
So we get great names like cuddlemonkey and snugglebunny.
It's so great :)
You know, aspiring scientists use protection not just during their lab experiments :-)
What, so you're turning down Bill Gates' philanthropy to stay with someone less fabulously wealthy? Bill Gates is going to be hurt.
But Anonymous I am careful! That's why I'm sleeping in the Bill Gates Hotel. I just wish that there was protection from the rain...
And Lyds, don't fear, this is all part of my master plan--I'm just using David to meet Bill Gates so I can marry him and live happily (and richly) ever after. There are quite a few steps in my plan:
- go out with David
- wait until he climbs the corporate ladder at Microsoft and can personally meet Bill Gates
- teach him how to play bridge so he can join in on Gates's and Warren Buffet's weekly game
- Come along with him one night and chat up Melinda, casually mentioning how Bill and Paul Allen like to go up to Brokeback Mountain every so often
- Console Bill after his divorce
- Show off my sexy attributes (my corny science jokes) until he falls in love with me
- Get him to convert to Judaism
- Marry him (with no pre-nup, of course!)
Sure there are a lot of steps involved, but I think it's worth the investment. And when I'm the wealthiest woman in the world, I'll be sure to remember my humble roots. Who are you guys again?
do you need your mom to call my mom and make sure there will be adult supervision at all times? you are the funniest roommate I ever had.
Uh...thanks for the offer, Samantha, but I think I'm okay without. Hahaha, bitch.
And you are so, so, so wrong. Out of all of us, I'm the least funny roommate. You're hilarious, Lydia's hilarious, and Jess is hilarious. Even Goya is unintentionally funny. So thanks for the compliment, but it's not true. Now if you said that I was "your most beautiful roommate ever who is in love with Patrick Stewart", well then, that I coulnd't argue with.
I am a little confused. Are you dating your father?
could your blog be any funnier? wow.
you might want to edit your blog though-- im not funny, remember?!
;)
i miss drinking cheap israeli bakbukei yayin and walking through the botanical garden, even though i dont think i ever did the two together.
much love,
jessica
ps let me know if you are intersted in a certificate recognizing you as the cheapest person i know and love.
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